Rachel had gotten home fairly quickly after what had happened. She sent home Lily’s babysitter, telling her she wouldn’t be needed for a few days before calling her director and telling him that she was taking some time off due to a family emergency. Rachel refused to leave Lily, not after today.
When Rachel heard Finn come home, her grip instinctively tightened around Lily before relaxing slightly. “Nick told you…” She stated quietly. “He shouldn’t of told you. I shouldn’t have told him. I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone”
Finn looked at Rachel incredulously. He just couldn’t believe what she was saying. “What, what do you mean you can’t tell anyone? Rachel, how serious are these threats?” Finn started pacing, he was nervous, frustrated and angry all at once. “What does he want from you Rachel?” Finn kept asking all these questions, but he wasn’t sure that he wanted to hear the answers. It was just as he predicted, as soon as he thought his life was settled, something had to happen to screw it all up again. When would it ever end?
Amber could tell Finn seemed a little disappointed. And honestly she felt a little bad. It wasn’t like she hadn’t had the same things in mind with her child. Raising her baby along with her brother and his family. It would have been the perfect life, had this whole situation gone through a little bit better for her. But the thought of raising this child…constantly reminded of the man who violated her..she wasn’t sure she could go through with it.
“Finn…I’m not ready for this.” She muttered, her hands in her lap now. ”I want to be a mom. Hell, if this was happening for different reasons I’d probably be keeping it. But I don’t think I can raise a baby like this…given these circumstances.” She felt like apologizing, some how able to read her brother’s body language to tell he was a little upset. ”I’d love to raise a family. And I think our kids would get along so well. But I can’t do it under these circumstances, Finn..” He bit her lip hard, feeling tears building up in her eyes. ”I..I can’t raise this baby…”
Based on Amber’s reaction, Finn figured that Rav must have sensed his disappointment, and he felt immediately guilty for making her feel any remorse at all for her decision. “Amber…” Finn said softly, placing his arm on her shoulder, “Don’t feel bad, don’t feel bad at all. You are making a wise decision. I am sorry if I made you feel otherwise. Of course it makes sense in this situation. I know you would be a fantastic mother of course, but this isn’t a normal situation.” He could tell she still looked upset so he pulled her in for a hug and said softly, “It’s all going to be okay, I promise.”
Finn felt so sorry for his sister and wished that her first pregnancy could have been out of love, not a terrible situation like this. He wished the asshole who did this to her could see the pain she was feeling. It was all so overwhelming. Finn could hardly take it. Maybe he should talk to Burt tonight… he was always good at calming him down. Wait, Burt. Amber had mentioned she hadn’t told Burt. Why hadn’t she done that? Finn was so caught up with the adoption news that he forgot she had even said that. “Wait Amber, you haven’t told Burt? Why not?” he asked. “He really should know, Amber…”
Finn’s mind was racing after receiving texts from Nick that someone had threatened Rachel and even Lily too. What was he going to do? It was almost too much to bear the thought of either one of them getting hurt. He needed to step in.
However, Finn couldn’t do much about it until he got the full story from Rachel. Why didn’t she tell him in the first place? Had he been neglecting her? Or was it that she knew he would step in? Either way, he needed to know what was going on so that he could protect his family.
Finn hurried home and was happy to find that Rachel and Lily were there when he arrived. “Rachel,” he said in a somewhat shaky voice, “Is, is it true that these letters you are getting are threatening you? And even Lily, too? I… I can barely believe it. Why didn’t you tell me? We can’t let this happen!”
Amber’s initial thought was to just shrug the whole thing off and insist she was fine. Honestly,aside from the morning sickness she seemed to be handling this whole thing pretty well. But if she had to be completely honest with herself and with her brother, emotionally she just felt…drained. Even if she was handling being pregnant well, the way it happened still kind of haunted her from time to time.
She rubbed the back of her neck, looking over all of the gifts Finn had brought over for her. A part of the reason why she had waited so long to tell everyone about what had happened was because she almost knew that her friends and family would judge her for it. She should have been more careful, she should have been stronger..but she was completely wrong. Everyone was being so supportive and understanding now. It made her actually hate herself a little bit more for not opening up sooner.
“I’m doing okay, I guess. I’m seeing a therapist again, though. After everything I don’t want to be on another downward spiral, you know?” She sighed, then sat down on the couch. ”I’m just kind of feeling more numb than anything lately. It still bothers me, but it’s all in the past now. There’s nothing I can do to change it so I’m just moving forward. Besides, stress isn’t good for the baby.”
She picked up the maternity book and started slowly thumbing through it. ”I’m not..I’m not keeping it by the way. I’m looking into families that want to adopt. All things considered I’m not really ready to be a mom.” The book seemed to hold all sorts of useful information, and Amber could feel herself relaxing a bit after reading through it a little. She was going to get through this just fine. “Finn..I still haven’t told Burt..”
Finn looked at his sister and tried his best to not look like his heart was breaking for her. It definitely wasn’t fair what had happened. Finn still felt like such an idiot for not getting the truth out of her in the first place. He was happy to hear though that she was trying to move forward. Even after being on two army tours, he still thought Amber was much more brave to be facing this. “I can’t imagine how hard this is for you, Amber. I really can’t. But you are a lot stronger than you think, you know. The fact that you are even going through with it is amazing.”
Finn’s face fell a bit when he heard that Amber wasn’t going to keep it. He supposed a small part of him had this fantasy in his head that Lily and his new niece or nephew would grow up together and be close friends and cousins. He imagined him and Amber having play dates with the two of them together. But that was selfish of him to even worry about what he wanted. It was Amber he should be focusing on. Besides, if she wasn’t ready to be a mom, then it was probably best for her to give it up.
Finn did worry about this decision though, and how hard it would be for Amber to give up her child once she had met him or her. He knew that after seeing Lily for the first time, there was no way he could ever give her away to anyone else. It would be impossibly hard. “I, yeah, that makes sense,” Finn managed to say as he worked through all his thoughts. “But Amber, do make sure the family is amazing. A child with your amazing genes deserves nothing less.”
Time to himself? He guessed that was what he needed; It was the reason why he and Blaine broke up the first time. But how much time was deemed enough before getting back to dating? He hadn’t been single for too long now and the last thing he wanted was to turn Chandler into some sort of rebound just to get over Blaine. He decided to take Finn’s advice to heart and seriously think about taking some time to himself. Maybe before jumping into a relationship with Chandler they could just go on a few dates at first; test the waters to see if they’re compatible.
“You don’t sound like a fool, Finn…. You’re actually being really helpful right now. Thanks, man.” Nick said gratefully, reaching out and clasping a hand on Finn’s shoulder. “It’s really cool that I can come to you for advice. I look up to you, man.” Lily seemed to have grown bored with Nick holding her, her big round eyes fixed on her father. Nick took notice of this and handed Lily back to Finn with a smile.
Finn smiled a bit, it felt good to know that he was helping Nick out, and even better that he looked up to him. “You look up to me? Man, Nick, that means a lot to me to hear that. Sometimes I just freak out and think that I am going to mess everything up. Maybe this sounds weird, but now that I am all settled and happy, I am scared it is all going to crash in again. I mean, I already went through going back to the army, losing my foot, and that whole mess with Cav…” Finn sighed. “I don’t know, maybe I am just over-thinking things. Being a dad makes you worry a lot more.”
Finn smiled as he took Lily back in his arms. “Hi Miss Lily,” he said to her as he placed a kiss on her small head.
Nick sighed again, thinking over the kiss. Chandler had always been a good friend of his and they were close. He found out about Chandler’s crush on him but at the time Nick was still dating Blaine… In love with Blaine. But now he wasn’t dating Blaine and he was trying to move on. He liked Chandler but at the same time was afraid of letting go of his feelings for Blaine. “The kiss… It was nice. I mean, I’ve never kissed someone and didn’t enjoy it…” He answered, shrugging his shoulders. “I like him but I also like Blaine… I love Blaine, actually. But… Blaine and I shouldn’t be together because we just don’t work out. What sucks the most is this feels exactly like when Blaine and I first got together… I was still hung up on Jeff and I rushed into a relationship with Blaine because we liked each other and look how that ended up.” He tried to keep a smiling face for Lily, bouncing her softly in his lap, attempting to keep her entertained all the while conversing with Finn.
Part of him envied Finn for his ability to find the right person early in his life and settling down, wishing that he could be where Finn was with his life right now. He’d love to come home to be with the person he loved and even a little one that he could call his own. Such things seemed out of reach for Nick. “I just wish I could hurry up and find the right person for me.”
As Finn listened to Nick, he started to feel pretty sorry for the guy. His stories of relationship turmoil reminded him of his drama with Rachel, Quinn and Puck back in high school. Boy was he glad to have that behind him. It was so nice to be settled and happy with Rachel. Even though they had had issues with Cav, it was really just a small bump in the road in hindsight.
Finn wasn’t sure what Nick should do. On one side, if he liked Chandler, perhaps he shouldn’t let him pass him by. But at the same time, it really did sound like Nick needed some time to himself. “It sounds like maybe you need time to think, Nick. Maybe it would help to be single for awhile,” Finn said. “However, I do believe that sometimes you don’t fully get over someone until you have found someone new to love. You know what I mean? Maybe it’s not the moving on quickly that is the problem, maybe it’s just that you haven’t moved on to the right person yet. And hey, maybe Chandler is that person.” Finn sighed and chuckled a bit. “Wow, I hope I don’t sound like a fool.” He smiled at Nick bouncing on Lily’s lap and tickled her stomach, making her giggle.
Finn’s suggestion for an intervention sounded like a good idea. It seemed like when one person talked to him it wasn’t enough but maybe if enough of them could get together and tell Chandler as a group, he would stand to listen.
“I, uh, it just sort of happened, really. I.. I don’t even know why I did it.” Nick answered the older man, sighing heavily. “I don’t know how I feel about Chandler. I mean, first I find out that he has a crush on me but I was with Blaine and now he has a boyfriend… I shouldn’t have kissed him. I… I don’t even know what I was thinking when I did it. It doesn’t matter anyway— He hasn’t even talked to me about it since.”
As Finn listened to Nick speak about his kiss with Chandler, it seemed to him that Nick probably had feelings for Chandler. As far as Finn knew, people only fretted this much about a kiss if it meant something to them. “Well, how did the kiss make you feel?” Finn asked, “Maybe it wasn’t the right time for it to happen, perhaps that is true, but did it feel right?” He didn’t want to pry at Nick, his feelings weren’t Finn’s business, but he was curious and he did think maybe Nick and Chandler were just what each other needed right now.
Nick shook his head, knowing that violence was never the answer. Beating up Oliver might make the man come back for an even bigger vengeance and Chandler would be the one that would have to pay for it. “No. I.. I want to kick his ass too but…” He shook his head again, frowning. “Violence isn’t the answer. I already got a couple of punches in anyway… I think he’ll stay away for now… But Chandler keeps going back to him and forgiving him and,” he groaned out in frustration, “I just don’t know what to do.”
He turned to Finn, seeking guidance and advice “What should I do, Finn?” He asked. He paused, thinking that maybe he should also include one important piece of information that he neglected to say. “I, uh. I also may have kissed him… Chandler, that is.”
Finn nodded in agreement. As much as he wanted to clock this Oliver guy, he knew deep down that Nick was right, violence wouldn’t get them anywhere. There was no point in trying to teach Oliver a lesson, it wasn’t their job to fix him. But it was their job, as friends, to help out Chandler. “Yeah, you’re right Nick,” he said, “Beating him up won’t help. It’s Chandler that we really need to focus on.” Finn thought for a moment, “Maybe we could stage some sort of intervention if it doesn’t get any better soon.”
Finn’s eyebrows raised at Nick’s confession. “You kissed him? How did that go over?”
Finn was still sick to his stomach about what had happened to Amber, it drove him crazy to think he didn’t persist her more to find out what was going on with this godawful guy. Maybe if he did, he could have prevented what happened. These thoughts ate him up inside until he got a text from Amber mentioning she was going through morning sickness. It was then that he realized that what happened, happened, and instead of kicking himself for the past he couldn’t change, he needed to pull himself together and help Amber through the hard times she had ahead of her. So, Finn decided to pull together some maternity things of Rachel’s and head over to Amber’s place to surprise her. Plus, he also wanted to help her through the morning sickness. He definitely had experience with that now.
With maternity books, a foot and back massager, saltines and ginger ale in tow, Finn arrived at Amber’s apartment door. He knocked, hoping he wouldn’t wake her up from a nap. “Amber?” he called, “It’s Finn, I thought I would come check on you.”
“Can I?” Nick took Lily from Finn, cradling her in his arms as he cooed to her smiling face. She sure was adorable and Nick loved kids. “Hello, Miss Lily. You sure are a cutie,” Nick said to the little baby girl.
Nick addressed Finn’s questions next, “When I was still together with Blaine Chandler had come back to New York but hadn’t found a place to live yet so I offered him my place to stay. Then I broke up with Blaine and moved out, so I moved back into my apartment.” The explanation was simple though it was a little odd how now they were living together, especially considering Chandler had had a crush on Nick previous to finding a boyfriend.
“His boyfriend only got me once but it hurt like a..” he paused, looking down at the baby he was holding. He had to watch his mouth around the presence of a child. “Like a banana peel.” He ended his sentence, shooting Finn a look, as if saying “you know what I mean”. He shrugged and sighed, “He… He can get violent when he’s angry and I’m just worried for Chandler. He’s already been hit a couple times and he has bruises and it just makes me so mad…. I want to go over to the jerk’s place and kick his..” he glanced down at Lily again. “.. y’know.”
Finn grinned as Nick took Lily and talked to her. Lily giggled a bit at Nick as he spoke to her. “Looks like she likes you, Nick. I guess I know who I should call to babysit.”
However, as Finn listened to what Nick had to say about Chandler’s boyfriend, his grin quickly faded. He could even feel his fists tighten up a bit. It drove Finn absolutely crazy when his friends were being picked on or treated unjustly. He supposed being the co-captain of the glee club and a soldier gave him this strong ‘protect your pack’ mentality. “I don’t even know what to say Nick,” Finn said, trying to keep his cool. “Who is this guy? I…ugh,” Finn’s fists clenched tighter, “Chandler is such a nice guy. I just don’t get people like this. I want to kick his ass so badly Nick, I really do, but I am not sure if it will help, at least not permanently. What do you think?”
Nick fancied seeing his friend Finn today; It had been a while since he’d seen or hung out with the older man and he thought it was about time they talked. Maybe Finn could even offer up some advice for him on what to do. Nick did look up to Finn a lot— especially when it came to relationships and decision making.
After texting his friend to alert him of his impending arrival, Nick hailed a cab over to Finn’s place. He hoped the older man wouldn’t notice nor comment on his bruised knuckles of the fading bruise along his jawline.
He arrived at the front door and knocked on the wood frame, then pressed the doorbell. He smiled to himself as he heard the chiming noise inside Finn’s place and shuffling from inside, figuring Finn was about to get the door.
Finn smiled as he heard the doorbell ring. He was excited to see Nick and was happy to be honest that he reached out to hang out with him. Finn was still worried about him, even though the former Warbler claimed to be doing fine. Perhaps it was the lasting image of Nick completely torn apart at that motel that kept Finn fretting about him.
“Our friend Nick is at the door,” Finn said to smiley Lily in his arms in a sing-song voice as he made his way to the door and opened it.
“Hey Nick,” Finn said as he swung the door open, “Lily and I are very happy to see you! Come on in.” He led Nick into the living room and sat down on the couch. “How are you doing, Nick?”
Nick had been lying on his bed. Since his break-up he’d spent a lot of time in that bed. He hadn’t been up to eat or shower in the past two days and he just moped around. He was slipping into a depression and he didn’t know what to do.
He heard the knocking and tried to lift his spirits up, attempting to get happy that his friend Finn was paying him a visit. He trudged over to the door and answered, looking up at Finn. “Hey man,” he greeted, dark rings under his eyes, and his hair messed up. He’d been wearing the same sweatpants and shirt for the past two days and hadn’t done much besides laze in bed and think about his failed relationships over and over again. “Come in. You want water or something? The ‘or something’ doesn’t count, by the way because all there is is water. I was going to buy soda or seltzer or something but I didn’t want to go to the store and get tempted to buy some booze…”
Finn breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that it was Nick at the door. “Man, you won’t believe what just happened I went to the wrong room and this angry tru-…” Finn stopped talking abruptly when he took another good look at Nick. He looked terrible. Finn could tell from his eyes he hadn’t been sleeping much. And by the smell of him, Finn was pretty sure he hadn’t been showering, or even changing clothes. “Nick,” he said with concern, “I didn’t think it was this bad… I am sorry…”
Finn was at a loss for words. He wanted to help Nick feel better, but he knew now that would be harder than he thought. Since he couldn’t think of anything to say, Finn just pulled Nick in for a hug. “It will be okay,” he managed to say. The hug didn’t last long though since Finn could barely stand Nick’s stench.
“I don’t need any water, thanks. But what about you? Want me to order a pizza or something and we can hangout for a bit?” Finn would have offered to take him out for food, but he feared that would be too much of a push for him right now.
Finn felt really bad for Nick, he seemed so happy with Blaine. He wondered what had happened between them. Nick must have not seen it coming considering the condition he was in right now. Poor guy.
Finn hurried over to the motel Nick had explained and hoped he was at the right one. He headed up to what was hopefully Nick’s room and knocked quietly on the door. “Hey Nick?” he called, “It’s Finn. I hope this is the right room.” A few seconds later the door opened and a very tired and angry trucker was looking straight at him.
“Who the hell are you?! I am trying to get some rest you idiot! Did you not see the “Do Not Disturb sign?!” The man continued to yell and Finn just hoped he wouldn’t clock him.
“I am very sorry sir,” Finn said as calmly as he could, “I must have the wrong room.” With that, Finn rushed down the hall. He looked at the room number he had written down. Crap. His 3’s often looked like 5’s when he was writing quickly. Oops.
Finn headed to a second door, really hoping it would be Nick’s this time. He knocked. “Hey Nick? It’s Finn, I really hope this is you this time.” He waited and really hoped he wouldn’t disturb another angry motel patron.
Finn finally had a much needed day off from the tire shop. He really needed it. For the past few weeks he had been working overtime to save up money for school, and most of all, for Lily. He was lazing around on the couch when it hit him. This was his first Christmas being married to Rachel, and Lily’s first Christmas ever. They didn’t even have a tree yet. What a terrible dad and husband he was. He was so busy worrying about money and work that it never even hit him how special this was. Wait, crap. Rachel was Jewish. Was he supposed to buy one of those candle things too? He looked over at Rachel holding sleeping Lily in her arms. They both looked so beautiful. They deserved a good Christmas or Hanukkah or Chrismakkah or whatever, and it was his job to make it happen.
“Hey Rachel,” Finn said quietly as to not wake their daughter, “What do you say we go pick out a Christmas tree? Do you want to go get a candle thing too? … I am really sorry I forget what those are called.”